Over the weekend, I heard that yet another long-time member of my former church is thinking of leaving. I remember what the church did about it when I left—nothing.
Of course, people leave churches for a lot of reasons. They move out of town. They get sick and stop attending. They get bored. They die. And I'm not too concerned when someone attends three or four times and never comes back. (Well, I am, but that's a different story.) But when someone who has been there for years and is active in several aspects of the church's program simply stops attending, it would help everyone to find out the reason.
Years ago, I was in a church in St. Louis that had, as a binding part of the by-laws, a requirement that an elder visit any full church member who had missed six consecutive Sunday mornings. That actually seems like a high number to trigger a visit, but consider what could happen at such a visit. If the issue is personal health or some other issue (enough gas for the car, etc.), the church gets to step in and help. If the issue is a battle with some church member or a disagreement with some policy of the church, there's a high-level opportunity to address the issue. At the very least, there's a recognition that being a member of a church is more like being in a family than like joining the YMCA. If someone is gone, we miss them. A relation has been set up that needs to be honored.
I suspect that when this wanderer leaves that church and starts attending another, he'll get the same reaction I did. The church mailings will continue for a year, then stop. And that will be it.
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